WaldoPharce's Xanga

Friday, May 22, 2009

Fri, 22 May 2009 19:21:37 GMT

You Missed a Good One

The other day I blogged and it was a real classic! I mean it was cutting edge! It was all about how you could adopt me for 90 cents a day and I would send you pictures and updates to show how I was doing and about how it was possible for me to earn 90 thousand dollars a year...... I mean it was classic! After careful study to make sure it was right and no misspelled words and that the grammar was up to Oklahoma standards, I pushed the button to "save changes".

Well, it went somewhere into cyberspace and I saw it no more!!! Kind of like how things have been going lately, but I am here to entertain you, not tell you about my troubles. So, I will now speak on another subject.

Here is the subject.......... Online Gaming.....!!!!

About 4 weeks ago or so, my lovely wife, Wanda Wynona gave me permission to buy a wireless router for our Wii. I had purchased World of War, Call of Duty which is a World War II scenario, and heard how much fun it is to play online. Well it is fun, but many people cheat with codes and think it is funny to come by and kill you, so I find games where everyone is playing fair and have a lot of fun.

Of course I used the name Waldo as my player name and it seemed to go over fairly well. Then I used the name Rock and everyone let me play and the person in charge of the game didn't kick me off, a practice you can do if there are cheaters or you just don't like the person for some reason. The names are endless. Out of the blue I decided to put in a girls name to see what happens. I used the name Cindy Brady, because it will not let you use the name Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, which I find amusing.

Oh my gosh!!!! People hate Cindy Brady playing against them. After the game is over I get kicked off about 80% of the time!! This is off the subject, but Ceylon Dion killed Cindy the other day! I figured maybe they don't like celebrities, so I set up another character, Jay Leno! Oh they love him! He never gets kicked off and other players don't team up on him.

I have tried Blind Samurai who is hated and also The Assassin, which they team up on! So I have it all figured out. Don't make your name one which will be controversial. Ok! So I put in the name Ugly Betty thinking girls must be the reason why Cindy Brady was hated! They love Ugly Betty! People don't kick you off or team up on you!! Gamers sure are wierd people, they love my character named Dumb Guy, which, by the way, says a lot about a 55 year old gamer!!!!

~~~ Whatever!!!!! Waldo

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Thu, 07 May 2009 15:16:43 GMT

So? What is going on?

Is life treating you badly? Are you tired of all the stress and anxiety of it all? Well there is good news for you! You can become happy by making others happy! Now Wait!!!! Don't think this is one of those gimmicks you read about or see on the local news, because it is not.

For only 50 cents a day you can sponsor a person to ensure their happiness all year long! That's right, only 50 cents a day!!!! How do I know this? Well, because that person is me!!!! Yes, if I have donations from only 100 of you it will greatly increase my bank account by $1500 a month!!!! If 500 will give only 50 cents a day that would be $7500 a month!!!! Or, $90,000 a Year!!!!! Now that would be a real life changing experience.

So you are probably asking, "What do I get for that 50 cents a day?" Well I am glad you asked! I will send each and every one of you a monthly newsletter telling you about my everyday existence. My vacations, new cars, home improvements, lavish evenings out and tearful pictures of me as I go to my mailbox and get all that Loot.... er, I mean all that great number of donations.

Let us face the facts...... 50 cents a day will not make or break your budget. However, If 500 of you give me 50 cents a day...... Well, you saw the figures!!!! It would change my life forever!!!!! I will be sending you a letter or you will see this on TV in later days. I know you will want to contribute to this worthy cause and make me happy as a pig without the swine flu in a new patch of mud!!!!!

Thank you for your support!!!!! ~~~ Waldo Excalibur Pharce

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 14:46:25 GMT

Only One Comment....

Only one comment on the First Bedpost Baptist Church (Preceding Blog). I guessed there would be more. The reason I posted the things that this preacher, I. B. Goodnuff says, is because this is what I was taught and believed for a good number of years.

Here is the truth:

You will Never be Good Enough. God knows you will never be. He provided a way out through Jesus. Grace is what this is called. If you believe Jesus is the Son of God then you will be saved. You cannot earn it, it is Grace. This Grace takes care of all the sins we have done or will do in the future. But, this is not the message of most churches.

I think of all those years that I wasted thinking I was not a good Christian. I didn't have a "quiet time". I didn't go to church like I should. I did believe in God and His power to accomplish many things in my life. I prayed for all of you and still do. Then a few months ago we started going to this Sunday School class and I realized that I had been following the path of Grace.

You will not have to account for every wrong thing you have done. This was taken care of by the sacrifice of Jesus. So, relax and enjoy the freedom you have. ~~~ Waldo

Monday, April 06, 2009

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 01:27:06 GMT

What Do You Deserve?

Are you tired of not being a good Christian? Well all you have to do is pull yourself up by your boot straps and everything will be OK! Try really hard to be a better Christian. Start a "quiet time" and get up everyday at 5:00 am to pray to Him. Don't drink, smoke, chew, curse, watch r-rated movies, say anything bad about anyone, or do anything to "upset God".

It is really easy to do all these things and if you are really careful then you will be able to do all of this and not fail. Of course it is all up to you. Here at the First Bedpost Baptist Church we believe it is up to the individual to become what God expects him to be. Jesus did everything without sin and it is important for you to do the same.

So it is mandentory for you to pray, not sin, and go to church every Sunday or you will not be on the higher "rung" on Heaven's Ladder. It will be very sad when you stand before God and answer to all the "bad things" you have done. After all, God demands that you go to church EVERY Sunday or you are not worthy to be counted as a "good Christian".

Thank you,

Sincerely, Preacher I.B. Goodnuff,

Pastor of First Bedpost Baptist Church, WaldoLand, Oklahoma

Monday, March 23, 2009

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 01:17:03 GMT

WaldoLand very very quiet...

I guess it had to happen. First comes the excitement of a new town, then the town grows into a city, a really big town, or stays small. Our WaldoLand stayed small although at times I thought it would bloom into something big. Then slowly all the people grew tired and either moved away or just locked their doors and were never seen again.

Now all people do is say, "Whatever happened to WaldoLand?" I guess it takes time to blog everyday and it seems harder and harder to find time. At least ten times I have said, "I will blog every day!" Of course that was my intention, but it never did happen. So, I hope to blog more, but who knows........ ~~~Waldo

Friday, February 27, 2009

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 15:24:20 GMT

Friday...... Whoopeeeee!!!

Here is to all you WaldoLand people. Another Friday is here. However, I work tomorrow, so this is really Thursday and Sunday will be my Saturday/Sunday because Monday I go back to work. So now Saturday is my Friday...... Please help me!!!!! I am so confused......!!!

~~~~ Waldo Excalibur Pharce

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 22:40:27 GMT

Waldo escapes death.......

The other day I felt like I could die...... but once again I escaped death. I also realized what was missing from my xanga site...... Stupidity! Yes, I once was stupid and now I have become someone who talks about all my troubles and not about humor. Who wants to know about what really happens in my life? Wouldn't you really like to hear about stuff that happens in WaldoLand?

Ok, that settled, here is a poem fresh off the WaldoLand Press, titled: Do Not Eat The Doughnuts

Do not eat the doughnuts,

They are not for today.

Do not eat the doughnuts,

Now go outside and play.

Doughnuts are fine,

If you don't over do it.

But now its time to play,

So get right to it.

I see you are back now,

Was playtime fun?

Its good to get outside,

And play in the sun.

Where are the doughnuts?

My, you watch my every move!

I dunked them one and all in milk,

They went down mighty smooth.

Please don't cry my children!

It was my mistake!

Go outside and play some more,

And get your hands off of that cake.

written by: Waldo Excalibur Pharce

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:05:34 GMT

Flu Shot.......

Earlier this year I took a flu shot. It will keep me from getting the flu. Well, I got something else...... They call it the Crud! Today I missed work because I couldn't speak!!!! Now let me explain..... That is kind of like a fireman running out of water! That is like an artist running out of paint!!! My job demands that I speak. Sooooooo........ I stayed home. I took an additional 2 hour nap and made "5 cheese macaroni and tuna fish".

Now I am running out of things to do..... So maybe tomorrow I will write some poems and stuff. I hope all of you have good Wednesdays.

~~~~~ Waldo

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 09:40:52 GMT

Life Has Me Down

Old Waldo has been a little down these days. I guess it is all this talk about spending Billions and Billions of dollars on a bill that has more pork in it than a Jimmy Dean sausage. Maybe it is because no matter how much money you make it always comes up just a little short. It could be that I am getting old and grouchy. Whatever the case, I need to snap out of it. Everyone needs to snap out of it! Thats it!!!!! I am not down, everyone else is!!!!

Listen here you......!!!!!! Live a little!!!! Don't be so mean and grouchy!!!! Enough said.

In other news, Wanda Wynona my lovely wife, had a birthday this week. She looks more beautiful than ever! Today is Valentine's Day and I of course remembered it with a card, chocolates, and a poem about all of her greatness. It is 4:41 am here in WaldoLand and I cannot sleep! You know I wanted to tell some ridiculous story and just haven't had the mind set to do it, but I will try harder this week.

Have a great day...... ~~~ Waldo

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:29:02 GMT

What's Going On Out There?

I hope all of you are having a great Thursday...... It is my intention to blog a little more. I know I have repeatedly said this, but this time I mean business. It has been a very stressful couple of months and now I am going to blog no matter what. Maybe I will start another story..... If 5 people will express the need for a story I will write one.....

~~~~~ Waldo